I’m tired of the coronavirus. I’m tired of wondering if this is the day I am going to get infected? Is this the day, the week, the month that I am going to die? I’m tired of cooking. I’m tired of cleaning. I’m tired of gardening. I’m tired of food shopping in a strange and bizarre way (in a face mask and gloves while keeping 6 feet away from my fellow shopper) I’m tired of Trump. I’m tired of Biden. I’m tired of Cuomo. I’m tired of the news, social media and anything that has to do with China. I’m tired of being threatened each and every time I attempt to talk about politics. I’m tired of Facetiming with my kids and grandkids. I’m tired of crying over my brother’s covid-19 death. I’m tired about constantly thinking about money. I’m tired of constantly thinking about retirement. I’m tired of ‘pretending’ that all is right in the world because it’s not!
I think the reality of everything is starting to hit me.

There is no solace. There is no escape. The reality is just there and you just have to deal with it. I think what I’m currently embroiled in is honest-to-goodness depression. I still can manage to get out of bed in the morning, providing the morning starts at noon time. I can’t sleep at night because once the TV and the noise is turned off, I’m just there with my thoughts and depression. Usually it’s a good time to say my prayers but what’s the use? I have prayed every night for God to watch over my entire family and to keep all of them safe. Guess He forgot about one, didn’t He?
There have been three suicides in my area last week. Two people jumped off different bridges. One was so well planned, the man brought a ladder to the edge of the railing to make sure he could climb high enough so he could jump off. The third suicide was a gunshot to the head.
We’re all not in the same boat. All our experiences are different. Some may have lost their jobs. Some may have lost money in the stock market. Some may have lost their loved ones. No one else can understand what you are going through except yourself. I know it’s OK to feel sad, lonely and helpless. But for how long? When will this pandemic fatigue be over? Will I ever be ‘me” again?
What I (we) need is hope.
Find the hope
This may sound impossible during a difficult time, but rather than think, “This is the rest of my life,” take it day by day or week by week. Take a step back and see there is reason to be hopeful. For example, in Wuhan Province in China, where the outbreak began, the reported number of new cases has dropped significantly and on some days has been zero, thanks to quarantining measures. Stores and factories are beginning to reopen. By seeing solutions that worked for those communities and continuing to take serious precautions, we are increasing the chances that the future is not as hopeless or extreme as we fear.
For individuals feeling the financial impact of the coronavirus, a silver lining may be especially hard to find during this time. Try to adjust your mindset: If you’ve lost work, rather than seeing this as a permanent situation, think of it as the time in between returning to work. Once the pandemic emergency is over, there will be pent-up demand — everyone will be eager to go out to restaurants and travel, so many of those jobs will be there again. (Click here for more info)
sending you love……
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
absolutely my pleasure……….
LikeLiked by 1 person
One simple solution to the overwhelm? Turn OFF the news.
You live in one of the most beautiful parts of New York. There is beauty all around you. You have a gorgeous property. You are creating beautiful gardens that will produce organic vegetables.
Read some good fiction. (Not financial self-help books). Get lost in the world of fantasy for a while.
The sun is out and shining more each day. It’s SUMMER!! Take that RV out to a park, for a new change of scenery.
Pretend you live in a time pre-internet. Vow that you will find something to enjoy each day. Call your daughters, skype your grandbabies, reach out to friends.
Have a good laugh by watching some comedy.
If you have a warm bed to fall into each night, delicious food on the table, (and based on your food pics you and Nick are awesome chefs!), a nice hot cup of coffee, and the birds to greet you each morning, you are doing GREAT.
Take time to give thanks to God for all he has provided.
Know that your thoughts will direct your day, so turn on the positive thoughts, because I KNOW you have them.
I can’t say it enough: TURN OFF THE NEWS. There are so many things we can do to reframe our situation but reading and watching people concentrating on the negative will only deter your thoughts.
I’m staying positive and know this will eventually be over, and we will get back to our lives. It’s already happening. States are opening back up, and people are getting back to work. Doctors are getting so much better at handling this virus, that death rates are low. So many smart people are working day and night for a treatment and/or cure.
Because you live in a more remote location, your chances of getting this virus is very, very low.
So, my friend, I leave you with this mantra.
“I’m strong, I’ve been through worse, and I know this, too, shall pass.”
Praying for you to find your strength. Your next two posts better be POSITIVE, or I will come looking for you. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sharon, I try to turn off the news but Nick puts it back on. He’s so obsessed with it, I had to send him out to the living room to watch TV and out of our bedroom! I’ve been watching re-runs of The Nanny. Hysterical!
I’ve been wanting to ‘play’ pretend but I don’t want to appear like a fool. last night I watched the movie ‘Flicka’. The Wyoming background was awesome. Then I realized we have the same views, the same horses here. So, why not pretend I’m living on the open range in Wyoming? On a farm house, cooking up some delish grub for the cowboys. See what I mean? It’s possible.
I think I just had a bad few days. I’m better today. usually when I wake up, I put on some happy music from Spotify and then have my coffee out on the deck. temps are in the 90’s these past two days.
Hubby is getting the RV ready. We were invited to stay on a friend’s field on the Chesapeake Bay. He said the crabs are doing good!
I do, when I go to sleep at night, thank God for my bed, our food and our home. But Sharon I feel so trapped here in New York. I can’t stand Cuomo. I want to get out from under his reign. But, as Nick says: where are we going to go? It’s the same everywhere and NOT as cheap as it is to live here.
We’ve scheduled a day trip to Saratoga soon. I’m looking forward to that. We cancelled our Newport RI vacay and I bought a pool instead. My kids won’t come here. They’re afraid. So, it’s just Nick and I. And our very kind neighbors.
The secret is NOT to watch that news. To listen to the daily death rate is obscene.
Thanks for your encouraging words. They surely helped. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
I feel for you. I have been trying to envision the future and I simply can’t. For bedtime, I find that I need a story – sounds silly, but I need a voice talking me to sleep. I get an audiobook from the library, set a timer in the Libby app and it works like a charm. I could care less what book – I listened to a Regency romance, now I am listening to a Bill Bryson book. It gives me something to focus on instead of my thoughts. I drift off much easier….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maggie that is a very good idea! I usually keep the tv on very low and the monotone voice puts me to sleep. I like the audio book!
I can’t think of a future either. No idea.
Thanks for your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person