I’m tired of the coronavirus. I’m tired of wondering if this is the day I am going to get infected? Is this the day, the week, the month that I am going to die? I’m tired of cooking. I’m tired of cleaning. I’m tired of gardening. I’m tired of food shopping in a strange and bizarre way (in a face mask and gloves while keeping 6 feet away from my fellow shopper) I’m tired of Trump. I’m tired of Biden. I’m tired of Cuomo. I’m tired of the news, social media and anything that has to do with China. I’m tired of being threatened each and every time I attempt to talk about politics. I’m tired of Facetiming with my kids and grandkids. I’m tired of crying over my brother’s covid-19 death. I’m tired about constantly thinking about money. I’m tired of constantly thinking about retirement. I’m tired of ‘pretending’ that all is right in the world because it’s not!
I think the reality of everything is starting to hit me.
There is no solace. There is no escape. The reality is just there and you just have to deal with it. I think what I’m currently embroiled in is honest-to-goodness depression. I still can manage to get out of bed in the morning, providing the morning starts at noon time. I can’t sleep at night because once the TV and the noise is turned off, I’m just there with my thoughts and depression. Usually it’s a good time to say my prayers but what’s the use? I have prayed every night for God to watch over my entire family and to keep all of them safe. Guess He forgot about one, didn’t He?
There have been three suicides in my area last week. Two people jumped off different bridges. One was so well planned, the man brought a ladder to the edge of the railing to make sure he could climb high enough so he could jump off. The third suicide was a gunshot to the head.
We’re all not in the same boat. All our experiences are different. Some may have lost their jobs. Some may have lost money in the stock market. Some may have lost their loved ones. No one else can understand what you are going through except yourself. I know it’s OK to feel sad, lonely and helpless. But for how long? When will this pandemic fatigue be over? Will I ever be ‘me” again?
What I (we) need is hope.
Find the hope
This may sound impossible during a difficult time, but rather than think, “This is the rest of my life,” take it day by day or week by week. Take a step back and see there is reason to be hopeful. For example, in Wuhan Province in China, where the outbreak began, the reported number of new cases has dropped significantly and on some days has been zero, thanks to quarantining measures. Stores and factories are beginning to reopen. By seeing solutions that worked for those communities and continuing to take serious precautions, we are increasing the chances that the future is not as hopeless or extreme as we fear.
For individuals feeling the financial impact of the coronavirus, a silver lining may be especially hard to find during this time. Try to adjust your mindset: If you’ve lost work, rather than seeing this as a permanent situation, think of it as the time in between returning to work. Once the pandemic emergency is over, there will be pent-up demand — everyone will be eager to go out to restaurants and travel, so many of those jobs will be there again. (Click here for more info)