When I woke up there was the sound of freshly whirling coffee beans spinning through a grinder along with a fragrant aroma of this same coffee bean brewing one individual cup after another in a decadent $230 coffee maker, waiting for me. I was vacationing in Sarasota, Florida in my sister’s new million dollar home she just bought three weeks ago. (she paid cash. it has 6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms) If I wanted another individual cup of coffee later on in the day, there was a box of this exotic coffee @$45 for 40 Keurig k-cups (makes 40 cups of individual coffee) displayed right next to the $230 coffee maker for ease of use.

When we dined, entrees started at $35. When we went to the pool, entrance fees to join the Country Club started at $4,000 annually with $120 monthly societal dues. If you wanted to join in with the golfing crowd, annual membership was a $30,000 non-refundable fee with a $500 monthly due on the first of every month. There was tennis every day with your own personal trainer. All for a nominal, additional fee. Of course.
When we drove, it was in a 2021 $62,000 Tesla. No problem. Almost everyone had the same vehicle. All that changed were the colors. If the event was special, we had access to a $102,000 convertible Mercedes waiting for us in the spacious four car garage. “I only keep it for those special occasions” the owner chimed. “I use it specifically to keep up with everyone else. They all have a spare Mercedes somewhere around“.
When I dined it was in the most expensive restaurant (of which there were many). As I glanced over the menu prices, I turned to my host and asked to be excused from the table. “I’ll be right back” I hesitantly said, because I knew I wouldn’t be right back. Instead, I went outside the restaurant, sat down on a park bench and started crying. How did this happen to me? Why did I not belong here? I could have been part of this crowd but I purposely turned my back on this lifestyle. I didn’t want to be there. And now I was being forced to go against my own personal life beliefs and indulge myself into overspending when I knew damn well, I couldn’t!
I cried and I cried because it was all just too much for me. I thought one of the guests would come out looking for me, so I dried my eyes and tried to get myself back together. But it was impossible. I returned to my appointed restaurant seat and proceeded to continue crying right there at the dinner table. It was all just too much for me. I kept saying that over and over to myself. It was all just too much for me. I got through the meal. I ordered a bowl of soup and a coffee and got hit with a $36 menu bill. Tipping now is 20%. My total cost was $43. That’s a whole weeks grocery shopping to me.
Mostly everyone paid in cash. I put my spending on my credit card, keeping daily a check on the total amount I could afford. That was $100. I stopped using my credit card when I reached $99. I made the announcement that I would no longer be joining them for any more events out. I bought myself a container of Daisy 4% cottage cheese and a box of Quaker original oatmeal packets for $10 at a super expensive grocery store and that’s what I ate for the rest of the week. Along with at least 2 cups of that special coffee every morning.
When you looked at me, you would have never guessed I didn’t belong. I wore a $155 black designer bathing suit (that I paid $19 for) with matching cover-up at the pool ($25). I dressed in designer duds each and every day (most from Chico’s valued at least @$2000). I toted a $328 hand bag (purchased for $131) and I wore an expensive $1200 wedding ring (with diamonds! Three of them! all for the purchase price of $599) Oh, I knew how to keep up with the Joneses. I used to be one of them. How did I accomplish all of this? I shopped at their local Goodwill store (located right outside the guarded front gates) and got all the designer duds and athletic clothes for pennies on the dollar. I also shopped at their local outlet stores (of which, the women knew NOTHING about) and got brand named handbags and jewelry at heavily discounted prices.

I left this crowd when I was 32 years old. Stuck in a marriage with an abusive husband, who ran my father’s multi-million dollar empire, I turned my back on all of this for a much younger-than-me man (who just happened to be as poor as a door mouse BUT super, super talented!) My father, sister and brother were furious with me but I wanted a REAL life. One with experiences vs money. My brother and sister remained with my father who glorified them heartily upon his death. They all became multi-millionaires. I got a mere pittance (compared to them) BUT I got something nonetheless.
My brother and sister played the stock market. I played real estate. They won. I lost. They’re rich. I’m basically poor and at times very, very broke. But my new husband and I (now together almost forty years!) have had a great life together and still, thank the good Lord, going strong. I chose love over money. I chose experiences over money. I chose having fun and enjoying life over money. And now that I am back home in my own home, my own world, I’m finding out that I love, love, love the frugal lifestyle my husband and I built together.
I had coffee this morning brewed in my re-furbished, $17.88 Cuisinart 12 cup coffee maker. If I want to have another individual cup later on in the morning, I just add one scoop of my 100% Columbian coffee ($5.75 for 24 ounces that makes 90 cups of coffee) over the existing used coffee grinds, set the Cuisinart to 1-4 cups and get myself one cup of amazing-to-me coffee. No Keurig needed. I learned how to do this from The Frugal Gazette back in the late 1990s. Hasn’t failed me yet! I poured my coffee into my white Dutch-made, close-out find coffee cup and enjoyed my morning brew. Along with my 50% diluted (with skim milk) Hazelnut, real coffee creamer (I pour half the original creamer into a cleaned, empty Friendly Farms container and fill it up with skim milk. In other words, I make two creamers out of one. Can’t taste any difference. I save money, as well as calories doing it this way!)

I love my frugal life, I muttered to myself, only to find myself muttering it more and more to myself as I got through the day. I unpacked all my special clothes and gently put them away. I brought a carry-on suitcase on the plane as I have learned long ago how to travel light. I gently put my $328 hand bag back in to its protective sack and put my $1200 wedding ring away (hubby never bought me a ring when we were married. I used my mom’s wedding ring instead, that I inherited when she died 43 years ago)





I sat in front of the fire this morning while I drank my coffee. My sister is in the process of buying new furniture. She’s looking at couches in the $3500 to $5000 range. “How much did you pay for your new couch?” she asked me, as she knew I just recently made a new couch purchase to make way for our new pellet stove in the living room. “You’re not going to like my answer, but I only paid $834 for my new couch. It was a left-over from last year. But when you add on taxes and delivery charges, it was $1060!” I tried to sound enthralled.


As I was sipping my frugal coffee, my doorbell rang. It was my good neighbors from down the road welcoming me back home. They told me my husband missed me and did his best to fend for himself. Thankfully we have our little doggie (who needed a bath desperately when I got back home and gave her one immediately right there and then!) and she kept hubby in good company. My neighbors gave me a half-dozen eggs their chickens laid this morning. When I told them my daughter, SIL and granddaughter was staying over for the weekend they told me they would bring me another half-dozen so we all could enjoy a hearty breakfast (with bacon!) tomorrow AM.

I may not be rich but I am very happy. I purposely chose my life the way it is and I chose my lifestyle. My husband and I bought the land (3.5 acres in an upscale, celebrity-ridden area in upstate New York) for $51,000. I got the money from selling a piece of real estate I bought up in the Adirondacks Mountains, at a slight profit. We erected a custom-built modular home, which we bought for cash from the generous profit I made from my Hamptons, Long Island NY home sale (where I raised my children for 16 years). We downsized from an 8 room home to a 4 room home (we later added 2 more bedrooms and a full bath up on the 2nd floor for my two daughters, when they visited 2-3 times per year. LOL!)
I didn’t speak to my father for a very long time. But when he learned that I moved to upstate New York and when he knew he was very ill and only had a few months to live, he begged my sister to drive him to my new home so that we could see each other for one last time. When he saw my house, which at that time was a pre-built house sitting on a pile of mud, he told me he would leave me enough money to finish my home. My dad kept his promise. He left me $880,000, two hundred dollars ($200,000) of which went to pay outstanding taxes. I finished my new home, bought dirt, had it landscaped, put in a pond, erected a $50,000 pre-built barn for my husband to use (and dedicated it to my father’s memory, in stone, clearly visible to all who enter the barn) and I have lived frugally ever since so that I would be fiscally responsible to the memory of my dad’s generous financial gift to me.
I won’t gamble in the stock market with my dad’s remaining money. I won’t speculate in real estate with it. I won’t spend it frivolously with it. I only keep it in safe, secured, guaranteed investments, such as high paying CDs etc (of which, you can not get the rates I was fortunate enough to get for my dad’s money….thank the good Lord). Now that the stock market is getting set up for a crash (my sister lost $30,000 last week and counting. My brother has since passed away. He died of covid on April 13, 2020. His wife, two sons and four grandchildren inherited his millions). My net worth today is around $825,000, most of which is due to the increased value of my property. I’m not rich. I’m occasionally broke and I absolutely refuse to take any chances whatsoever on my remaining ‘good fortune’. Hubby drives a $56,000 pick up truck that we only paid $17,000 out-of-pocket cash, thanks to a great trade-in of a previously owned, paid-for vehicle. My original $170,000 home and property can probably reign me in $700,000 if I presented it properly, which I won’t. “When it gets to be a million“, I tell my husband “then we’ll sell. But for now? We’re staying right here.” I have a vegetable garden and a peach tree. I live very simply. I’m starting to incorporate minimalist living into my daily routine (translated: I got rid of a lot of ‘stuff’!)
I love my frugal life. I love my frugal life. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wish my sister well. She deserves every single thing she ascertains. It was she who took over my father’s brutal business (it was the equivalent of a sweat shop) and managed it for him till the day he died. She never got out to live experiences as I have done nor did she ever get to live her life the way she wanted to. Daddy could be, at times, a very manipulative man. My sister suffered a lot at the hands of my father. And I suffered a lot at the hands of my abusive ex-husband. It’s time now for both is us to enjoy the rest of our lives and enjoy the lifestyles we have mindfully chosen for ourselves. I wish my sister no ill will. My crying fit is over. I realized when I got home late last night that I love, love, love my frugal life. I can keep up any anybody and any thing (thanks to my frugal shopping hacks) if need be. Instead, I chose a quiet, rural lifestyle. My sister chose the glamour and the glitz. No judgment here. Only love.

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Oh Cindi! I am sad to hear about that restaurant situation. But good for you for communicating your situation, correcting course and sticking to your values. You took the best and left the rest to your travelling companions!
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Thanks Quitter. The experience changed my life a little bit. All for the better I might add. Thank you so much for your comment.
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Hi Cindi, why would you eat only cottage cheese and oatmeal since you said earlier you contributed $100 for food at the house? And I thought there was an Aldi’s close by?
I think you are hitting the wall of food and gas inflation making frugality mandatory rather then a tool to stretch your monthly income and add to your vacation and property sinking funds. You now need to tap all the income from your assets and pension to maintain your current lifestyle. I have cried many times-
Too! I am frustrated and angry. Sad for Ukrainians. I have tried to develop a personal plan for 2022. Using rewards gift card to make my groceries free to have extra for the increase in gas and utilities. Then my furnace died end of January with the severe cold. $948 to the plumber plus my property taxes. Having over a million dollars fiasco added to one of my brokerage account and three conversations to try to get it corrected correctly.,March bills coming due will exceed my total monthly income from dividends and pension and I will be tapping savings, too. Once again I am trying to develop a plan. Yes, I am feeling the financial pain and wonder what the new normal is going to be.Sincerely, Lara
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Lara, I gave my sister a $100 gift card from Aldi. The Aldi closest to her house is under construction. She wants to wait till it is finished (about a month or two) before she uses it. The Aldi we went to, she says, is too far away for her right now.
There’s no doubt about it. My lifestyle has come down a few notches. And it wasn’t easy. I went kicking and screaming. To be 71 and to have had all these wonderful retirement dreams ahead of me, only to see them flutter and die. The one thing I will not cut and that is driving my RV down to Florida and spending 3 months (January, February and March) in the sun. Hubby didn’t want to go this year but I gave him an ultimatum. Either he drives me down next year or I will hire a driver. I don’t care anymore how much it will cost. But I am determined to do this thing, even if it only is this one thing. I’ll forgo all the other travel I had wanted to do. I’m lost without my Florida winters.
I think we have our food under control.
We have our home heating under control.
I just got a letter from our electric company. They’re raising our rates 46%. OUCH!!
The gas is under control because we stopped using our truck and switched to our fuel economy vehicle.
I cut our monthly budget down to a comfortable bone. It is what it is.
The last thing to do is to pray. I pray all day long. That’s about it.
Sorry about your furnace. Isn’t that always what happens?
Stay safe. And warm!!!
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Hi again,Oh Duh! I totally forgot about my quarterly dividends coming in on March 15th so no need to pull from savings this month and I had plan these for my estimated taxes and I don’t owe very much so looking good for April out of cash flow. Ah! So Love those 8-11% dividends. Sincerely, Lara
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Good for you! Great news.
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Your electric 46% increase is crazy! Are they immediately changing your budget amount? I am waiting for this month’s bills to see if the furnace repair with a more efficient circulating motor cuts my electric and gas usage., I am also curious if my budget amount will be readjusted higher for April. I cut my electric usage by 35% by cutting all the hidden energy usage- unplug microwave, put TV on a suppressor strip turn it off when not watching it, brew my coffee -pour a cup into a mug and the rest in to a Thermal mug and unplug the pot, and also investing in energy star -oven, refrigerator and washer. Plug it in when you need it don’t let it rob you when you aren’t using it. I already replace my outside porch light with an LED and I replace my above sink with a LED. My electrician said I could run them all night for Pennies..Two circle ones are $14.97 a pack at Home Depot. Sincerely, Lara
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Yes, it’s going to be a 46% increase in electricity here. Our local politician is in an uproar. Has to do with a turnover to a new accounting system. So they say. Plus whatever else is going on in the world.
We changed ALL our lightbulbs etc. for LED.
I have no idea what our new budget line is going to be.
I have no idea (yet) on what I am going to do to find a solution.
Time will tell.
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So are you still going to do the summer house share with your sister and friends or forgo this to do three winter months in Florida in your RV? How did you fare with our winter storms? Our 11,25 of snow was mainly sleet leaving three-four inches of heavy slush! My plow guy came out at 5 and now I have a layer of ice with temperatures in the teens here. I pray to God this is our last snow storm. Sincerely, Lara
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I promised the girls we’d do the summer share at OBX and I have no intention of backing out. It’s 50% cheaper than utilizing the RV. I’m in full savings mode with Florida. Sacrificing so that we will be able to go next year. If there is snow outside, I don’t leave the house. Period.
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Hi Cindi again, Maybe instead of looking it as sacrificing think of it as prioritizing what makes you the happiest. My SIL always says-Happy Wife -Better Life. Sincerely, Lara
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Lara, I have a whole new outlook on life, starting today. I’ve prioritized what I want in life, which is to spend the winters in Florida. I’m 71 years old and still haven’t mastered this!! The plan was to buy a decent, comfy RV and rent a spot for January, February and March. The pandemic ended that BUT I am back on the plan, regardless now of inflation. Now that I have a goal, I don’t mind channeling money towards a Florida savings plan. I no longer think of it as sacrificing. I think of it now as fulfilling my goal. Yay!!
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You go girl! Is your 2.5% CD maturing soon? You could probably make extra money transferring it when it does. Sincerely, Lara
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By the time my CD matures, interest rates should be either in the high single digits or double digits if they follow the 1970s. It’ll be a very good thing. I got out of the S&P500 just in time, IMHO. My sister has lost over $30,000 and counting. I wouldn’t have liked that if it happened to me.
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A girl can dream- I will be surprise if we get to 5% on long term CDS. On Fidelity longer term CDS are all callable, 10 year highest at 2.5% , five year at 2.0% all callable.
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I don’t like callable. I had one with Fidelity and it was painful to see it go. Boo hoo. I was getting used to that 4%!!
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I had my 4% CD called too. I have a portion of my 11.25% preferred stock called in February payable on
March 15 and will have to reinvest it. Not sure in what yet with everything happening. Sincerely, Lara
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