In case anyone was wondering where I have been (since I haven’t posted in a while) I took a little ‘trip’ to the ER the other day. Apparently, all this stress and world chaos is starting to take a toll on me. My blood pressure was so high it burst one of the capillaries inside my nose. Anyone who knows me knows that I have had several bouts with non-stoppable nose bleeds that placed me in the ER quite often. Eventually I had to get my nose cauterized a few times till the method eventually worked. I think my last round was a few years ago but unfortunately, my nose bleeds are back.

I get very nervous when my nose bleeds can’t be contained. The blood starts dripping down the back of my throat and if I am not careful, I could choke to death. Perhaps that was TMI but nonetheless, it’s very scary and worrisome to me. I found out in the ER that my skipping my blood pressure meds wasn’t a good thing either. Up until that point I never connected my blood pressure meds with popping a vein in my nose. Live and learn. The ER doc gave me a dose of my own meds to get my blood pressure down. They waited to see if my bleeding would stop. It did. But by the time I got back home, the bleeding started again.

All of this started one morning while I was watching the 6AM news. I started screaming at the TV set over the infant formula shortage and I guess my body just lost it. The stress of the last 2.5 years has been exhausting, to say the least. It’s been one thing after another and to tell you the truth, I’m done. Literally. I put down new rules in my home and the first thing was to limit my access to any local and world news. There is literally nothing I can do to change the world except change myself and adapt. The next thing I did was to turn my computer off over the weekends and to stop watching (or listening or reading) any news over said weekend. I need a break from all this madness and I decided to start with the weekends.

Wouldn’t you know it, the first weekend I decide to turn off the news, there’s a big massacre in Buffalo, New York (the state in which I live, click here). There’s a local Tops Supermarket in my area. Should I now be afraid that danger awaits me for simply grocery shopping in the local market? How many more tragedies do any of us need to hear before we go mad?

The only solace I’ve been finding lately has been in prayer. I’m simply asking God where is He? How is He allowing all these horrific things to happen? Not all of us here on earth are evil. There’s still plenty of good people to be found. Has God forsaken His good people too?

O God and Heavenly Father, Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

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